He has done that before. It was very hard for me. I tweet a lot. Twitter makes my day more enjoyable. I can say whatever is on my mind there unlike real life. And people talk back to me. I am never alone, never bored. But he said no tweeting, so I stopped. I had to delete my Twitter apps off of my phone and computer. The beeps were too tempting. But I did it. I was a good girl, and I was very well rewarded. Strangely enough, I also got more stuff done. But I did not like it.
"Please don't Sir."
"Ok. I won't take tweeting away. Just 10 tweets per day, until I say so."
Ten tweets is better than none, right? And I could still comment and chat with my friends in direct messages. Yet somehow this has been harder for me. I have missed the group conversations. I miss being able to say what is on my mind right then and getting instant feedback on it. I miss the freedom.
But that's what this is all about, isn't it?
I am not sure what reasons Sir had for this rule. That doesn't matter though. He is my Master. I obey. And in spite of myself, I have been getting some things out of this.
I am having to think first about what I say "out loud". I can't just blurt everything I want to out. Smart-assed comments and random bitching about my day will use up those precious ten. I have had to decide if what I want to say right then is really that important. Usually it is not.
I am having to plan ahead. How much of what I really do want to say, *my* important thoughts, can I fit into 140 characters? Actually a few less, as I have been numbering my tweets so I don't lose track. Can I convey the meaning I want to? I have been forced to be succinct. No wasted characters.
In between I can follow my friends' tweets. But there are so many temptations there inviting me in. Instead I have been walking away from it, and yes (damn it), getting more stuff done again while thinking about my next tweet.
Perhaps the most important thing I have gotten out of this is a reinforcement of my submission. I won't lie and say that this rule doesn't drive me insane and piss me off several times a day. Being female, my mind has looks for loopholes. Wiggle room. I have (so far) caught myself and corrected those thoughts. So for the past few days, I have been practicing self-control. I have not needed to be corrected. I have been a good girl.
And throughout each day, I have felt his presence in my mind. All the time. His control tempering my struggles. I can almost feel his fingers wrapped in my hair at those moments when I am fighting the most. It has been soothing. And I have been making him proud. It is worth it.
Tuesday 3/22
- Have I mentioned lately how generous @MstrBlaster45 is? I adore him! ;) (Only 9 more tweets allowed today, but can be reached by DM.)
- I get cock & orgasms tomorrow *because* I turned them down per orders. #GoodGirl :) (Only 8 more tweets today, but can be reached by DM.)
- My Wanton Wednesday post. Hopefully will be too wanton to post tomorrow. ;) http://www.aslutsmemoir.com/2011/03/whipped.html (Tweet 3 of 10)
- Wow! My blog should go over 100,000 by this weekend! Still really amazes me! Thanks everyone! New post: http://bit.ly/f32TMs (Tweet 4 of 10)
- <----- New avi too. This is what happens when you reply to one Dom's text without looking at the number. Wrong Dom. Oops! ;) (Tweet 5 of 10)
- Ten tweets is not a punishment. It's a lesson in watching my mouth, thinking about what is important to say, & obedience. :) (Tweet 6 of 10)
- Shamelessly flirting w/ man Sir may loan me to. In video. "After watching those, I need for sure to meet you. You are amazing." (Tweet 7/10)
- Looks like this is going to be a 45 hr day for me after only 3 hr nap. Work, sex, work. But so worth it! Hopefully nap in eve. (Tweet 8/10)
- Starting to squirm nervously about trade I offered for @RainBouz's orgasm the other day. Sir will have to restrain me well. :-/ (Tweet 9/10)
- Last tweet before midnight. Interesting limiting myself. I *do* babble a lot here. Also had many interesting DM chats. Thanks! (Tweet 10/10)
Wednesday 3/23
- I always get stumped on the "What do you do for fun" question at work. Usually say "Sleep" Tonight I said "Things you can't imagine." (1/10)
- Time to get clean so I can get dirty. Serving Sir as well as I can... with another Sir. I love being used and treated as property! :D (2/10)
- Gorgeous sunny day! Mountains out & clear all around. On the water, having a beer on my way to be used as fuckmeat. I'm loving this! (3/10)
- *blink, blink* I can't even think of anything to say right now. *idiotic grin* (4/10)
- Need to always set two alarm clocks AND put them out of arms reach while sleeping. Overslept for work. :-/ Still a great day! (Tweet ?/10)
- Yup! Still a very good day... ;) http://t.co/eJ78X0F (6/10)
- Thank you again @MSTRBLASTER45 for allowing me to serve @sprocket747 today. You are a very generous Master! :-* (7/10)
- Thank you @sprocket747 for today. You completely scrambled my brain! lol (8/10)
- I may only be able to write 10 tweets per day, but I can say hi in DMs. :) Well, when work allows... (9/10)
- I am so happy to have the people in my life that I do! I love my life!!! (Even if my bottom is a bit sore...) *still grinning* (10/10)
Thursday 3/24
- It is Thursday already. This week is going faster than I thought it would. Tomorrow I get to be with @MSTRBLASTER45 & @slut_t! *grin* (1/10)
- Videos & pic from yesterday. Videos (first two) are safe for work. ;) http://bit.ly/hIgDW8 http://bit.ly/hTpQGh http://bit.ly/fFqCvD (2/10)
- Facebook killed my slut account last week. Meh. Logged into real account. First time in forever. I feel old. Some boytoys turning 30. (3/10)
- Work just called & woke me up to ask if I'd work tomorrow night. Let me think... work or Sir... tough choice. At least I didn't LOL. (4/10)
- In chat said I don't cyber anything. Got his boxers in a bunch. Dumbass. We had been arranging to meet in RL. Was going to fuck him. (5/10)
- Ten Tweets. Like wearing ball gag at a party. So many conversations I would love to join. Obedience is hard sometimes but worth it. (6/10)
- I need to ask Sir how my ten tweets rule works on #fucktoyfriday. (7/10)
- No, I don't. He clearly said ten tweets per day. I will have to prioritize. Damn, that man makes me all subby & shit! #FucktoyFriday (8/10)
- Ten Tweets. Struggle. Submission. Control. Like having his fist wrapped in my hair 24 hrs. (Still reply to @'s in DM) #FucktoyFriday (9/10)
- DM: "What are you looking forward to most about seeing Sir tomorrow?" Me: "Good question. Most? Being held in his arms." *happy sub* (10/10)
Friday 3/25
- Happy Friday everyone! I'm lurking. ;) Two new posts: "Ten Tweets" http://bit.ly/fSG5aU & "One Hundred Thousand" http://bit.ly/eZI0L7 (1/10)
- I may not be playing #FucktoyFriday on Twitter today but I am in real life. See Sir & pet today. Serving another man tonight for Sir. (2/10)
- So much to do & so little time. I always feel rushed before a date. Yet I am usually ready too early & go nuts watching the clock. ;) (3/10)
- Chatted with Sir this morning about collars... Happy girl! Ok, seriously need to get my butt moving! Back later. (4/10)
- DM: "...you'll enjoy the aspect of being 'given'." Me: "Mmm... Given... Three different men this week." I'm a slut! ;) #FucktoyFriday (5/10)
- I knew I'd be ready too early. Can't wait to see @MstrBlaster & @slut_t! The clock isn't moving. *sigh* Somebody please distract me! (6/10)
- Does anyone else have to allow extra time for high winds, herds of deer, drawbridges, AND submarines in their trip to get fucked? ;) (7/10)
- Almost there! Almost there! I can burn up my ten tweets now. I doubt I will have a chance later to type. It's a gorgeous day here! :) (8/10)
- Have just been informed I can tweet to my heart's content tomorrow. @slut_t just arrived. Waiting for dinner & other people to go. (9/10)
- # Awesome night so far. @slut_t almost shorted the Hitachi by squirting all over it. At least twice. Now I get to go to his friend. (10/10)
