Why I Love The Men I Do

I have been busted. Again. Well, not completely outed. The man in question is one of the most important men in my life. I had mentioned to him a few months ago that I had been exploring the kinkier side of sex, but had not gone into detail.

Why not? Because he is important to me. What he thinks really matters. I was afraid the images (mental and actual) of me crawling on a leash, being beaten into oblivion, or being dragged by my hair down into a cellar dungeon by a stranger would make him think less of me. A reasonable concern, I think. Even my husband does not want to know the details.

One other friend, who will get his ass kicked as soon as I get back to Italy, told this man about my blog. I am sure it was assumed I already had. So he has known for a while, but has not said anything. Today it came up...

Me: How have you been? Haven’t been on facebook much.

My Other Husband: Busy with work. Not easy here in Iraq.

Me: I can only imagine. You at least get to work as an IT?

My Other Husband: I just hate not getting laid daily here... No I'm not doing anything with IT here... I'm the Operations NCOIC. I do all the mission planning, flight arrangements. And apparently your Jack of ALL trades handy man.

Me: Lol. Better than guarding a shack in the middle of nowhere.

My Other Husband: Riiiight...

Me: Looks good on an eval...

My Other Husband: We'll see.

Me: Getting laid at all?

My Other Husband: Hooked up twice here and she all of a sudden just wanted to distance herself...

Me: No other prospects? Not like you to go without.

My Other Husband: Not any I am really talking to at the moment. I see some eye balling me at the Galley but it's all about timing I guess.

Me: It is one of your talents...

My Other Husband: I'm trying to get my CHU squared away to invite people over so they aren't just standing around... Easier to make a move in an enclosed environment.

Me: Yes, I remember that. You make good moves.

My Other Husband: ;-)

Me: Hey, I fell for it... :P

My Other Husband: Really did you? I think we were both playing each other there missy.

Me: No. I really had no idea such a young, cute guy would have the same thoughts I was having. Pleasant surprise.

My Other Husband: Yeah loved (My Husband)'s comment about you robbing the cradle.

Me: Now I am going to see someone next week that is as many years older than me than I am to you...

My Other Husband: Lol. Works both ways I say.

Me: Can’t be a hypocrite.

My Other Husband: Exactly.

Me: Lol. Now I can be the one in the cradle...

My Other Husband: Lol

Me: So I wasn’t playing you... All your fault.

My Other Husband: Ok... Didn't think you were. You were hinting it there...

Me: Was I?

My Other Husband: Um... Yep...

Me: Do you get to do anything fun there?

My Other Husband: Mmm nope. I get to play poker and that's about it... I really wish it was POKE HER but it hasn't gone that well.  

My Other Husband: (Another Old Boyfriend) said he saw your blog but you never told me about it.

Me: Did not think you would like it. Remind me to kick (Another Old Boyfriend)'s ass... Lol

My Other Husband: What made you jump to that conclusion?

Me: It makes some people uncomfortable.

My Other Husband: What's the link?

Me: The "darker side" of me.

My Other Husband: But you tell (Another Old Boyfriend)?? Really come on now?

Me: http://aslutsmemoir.com. I could always talk to him about fucking others... Not so much with you for some reason... Perhaps I though you would be disappointed in me.

My Other Husband: Anyways... You could use a better blogging format.

Me: Hey, I was Google’s #1 Submissive Masochist Slut until I changed the domain name...

My Other Husband: Be disappointed in you? That's sweet that you thought for my feeling Laurie... 

My Other Husband: Search Engine Optimization... Easy to do...

Me: The domain name change fucked me up. Could never get the 301 redirect to work right.

My Other Husband: Well you’re talking my language.

Me: I know. Tried the .htaccess way, domain forward doesn’t forward old links already on other pages. Just gave up and started over.

My Other Husband: I hear ya.

Me: 3000 hits in a week. Not bad for a diary...

My Other Husband: Nope not bad at all... Could update the site and get it some better ads... a PPV type... Well that's all neither here nor there... I'll stop talking nerdy!

Me: Google ads just dropped me... Not going for PPV.

My Other Husband: Why did Google ads drop you?

Me: Something about deep throating... Lol. I deleted the email, it was funny!!!

My Other Husband: Lol

Me: Guess someone complained about me sending them hits... From a page titled "Balls Deep". LMAO! Don’t mind the nerdy talk, btw. I speak geek.

My Other Husband: Yeah I know Genius IQ..

Me: I did not say that. Or even think it.

My Other Husband: I know you do have a Genius IQ though.

Me: Yes. Don’t feel like it.

My Other Husband: So I'm kinda laughing here.

Me: At? Me being dragged down stairs?

My Other Husband: That you thought your blog was too "dark" for me... LMFAO! That's cute that you think I’m so soft and tender... HA HA HA

Me: Not that you couldn’t handle the concept. Just didn’t want you to think badly of me.

My Other Husband: Dear... Let's get one thing straight shall we??? 

My Other Husband: Laurie... I would never think a bad thing about you... You’re a wonderful person no matter what you do. I'm not one to pass judgment on people... That isn't my job nor do I care too... Your still one of the greatest persons I have ever met in my life and feel very grateful for knowing you. Got it?

Me: I do have the best taste in men!

My Other Husband: I personally don't CARE what you do Laurie... I just like it when you’re happy!

Me: http://www.aslutsmemoir.com/2010/04/i-really-know-how-to-pick-em.html

My Other Husband: Great post. Lol

Me: I was so worried (My Husband) would bring it up.

My Other Husband: Let me explain something to you Laurie...

Me: (I am blushing now, though that you saw the pics with that girl...)

My Other Husband: You and (My Husband) taught me a LOT living with you two and I will never be the same person I was before I met the two of you. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Me: I am honored. And humbled.

My Other Husband: Good. Be proud...

Me: I am actually choked up.

Then he had to go to work. I sent a message to him a little later.

ME: Well, if I am going to come clean... One other place that you are mentioned is http://www.aslutsmemoir.com/2010/06/best-thing-about-flight-suits.html, but please don't get pissed that it is about (Yet Another Old Lover That He Hated). 

You have no idea how mushy and choked up I was getting during that chat. Your opinion was, is, and always will be important to me. I truly did/do love you, and THAT is something I do not give away. I have only truly loved four men in my entire life. Dave is dead. You and (My Husband). And one here that I cannot see anymore (partly because of those feelings), though he is still a good friend. Thank you. I love you.

His response got tears of pure happiness running down my cheeks.

My Other Husband: Well I hope you weren't worried about me reading that one... It's all good dear.. Back then I was young and stupid. Shit happens. You had a need fulfilled and you got it.. Hell I believe everything happens for a reason and I guess for one reason or another what happened back then worked out for the best now? I love you too Laurie and I look at your family as my family and you all mean a whole lot to me. I hope that everything stays well and only the best things happen for you all.

So now I am sitting here typing.. overwhelmed by emotion... tears streaming... all mushy, loving, and full of joy... Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky to have found such amazing men, and be able to have them all in my life.