On Saturday I experienced the highest "high" in my life. Call it Sub-Space, Head Space, Flying, whatever. It was amazing. Words can not even begin to come close to explaining it.
I was warm, weightless, completely serene and blissful, floating in some other dimension toward something very, very important. I knew this in my soul. I was vaguely aware of real life things, but they had no importance to me. Only getting to this other wonderful place existed. And yes, there was a wonderous light there.
As I was being pulled away from this place, I felt extreme anger. I would have done anything to remain there and reach my "goal" whatever it was. At the time, the "goal" was more real than anything else, and it made perfect sense, but not in any way logic can explain.
I had very intense cravings to return to this place that night and Sunday. Even the next day, when I thought about it, I could still feel the remnants of the sensations and emotions I had experienced.
The following three days were very busy, and I could not dwell on this happy place. Now it it Thursday, and I believe I am now experiencing the dreaded Sub-Drop. I can not feel it anymore, and that made me very sad to realize. I feel like I am grieving a loss. Or maybe I am going through some sort of withdrawals. It does suck, but I knew this might be coming.
I did find it interesting when I was trying to figure out just where I had been how similar this experience (Sub-Space) is to Near-Death Experiences, and Astral Body Traveling. I have never been a believer in any of those types of things, but apparently I need to rethink my attitude! It's kind of hard to say a place does not exist when you have been there.
I did find one piece of art work that at the time (Sunday) illustrated what I was feeling but could not explain. It is titled "Spacial Awareness" by Smirnoff Sweetie on Deviant Art. The girl in the art appears to me to be both blissfull and sad.
Also a group post I ran across made me feel better today:
"I have known for a very long time just what an elusive creature this is. One that is sought and hunted with hunger and desperation yet a more hidden and polymorphistic creature you shall not encounter. No one has been able to describe it with complete fulfilling accuracy and each description, while familiarities abound, still no two are alike - not even with the same individual telling the tale.
I could, therefore attempt with the impeccable gift of writing I was given at a young age to mold and swirl emotions and sensations and images and the overall realm of experience into some semblance of cohesive explanation. But I'm not going to.
I won't!
I am not going to sit here and waste a moment even of internal processing in an attempt to force into mortality something eternal that should never be caught in a glass jar and set upon a shelf for one to sit and gawk at. Oh no! I shall not cheapen my very first encounter with this creature by any attempt to compartmentalise it with the words our poor inadequate language have to offer.
I have seen now this creature. I have caught its scent and it now knows mine. I shall know it again across the winds...I shall know its call whispered in the shadows...I shall know its touch when next the hairs upon the back of my neck bristle and I shiver...and I surely shall know when its taste is upon my lips once more for now, now the true hunger begins."
I was warm, weightless, completely serene and blissful, floating in some other dimension toward something very, very important. I knew this in my soul. I was vaguely aware of real life things, but they had no importance to me. Only getting to this other wonderful place existed. And yes, there was a wonderous light there.
As I was being pulled away from this place, I felt extreme anger. I would have done anything to remain there and reach my "goal" whatever it was. At the time, the "goal" was more real than anything else, and it made perfect sense, but not in any way logic can explain.
I had very intense cravings to return to this place that night and Sunday. Even the next day, when I thought about it, I could still feel the remnants of the sensations and emotions I had experienced.
The following three days were very busy, and I could not dwell on this happy place. Now it it Thursday, and I believe I am now experiencing the dreaded Sub-Drop. I can not feel it anymore, and that made me very sad to realize. I feel like I am grieving a loss. Or maybe I am going through some sort of withdrawals. It does suck, but I knew this might be coming.
I did find it interesting when I was trying to figure out just where I had been how similar this experience (Sub-Space) is to Near-Death Experiences, and Astral Body Traveling. I have never been a believer in any of those types of things, but apparently I need to rethink my attitude! It's kind of hard to say a place does not exist when you have been there.
I did find one piece of art work that at the time (Sunday) illustrated what I was feeling but could not explain. It is titled "Spacial Awareness" by Smirnoff Sweetie on Deviant Art. The girl in the art appears to me to be both blissfull and sad.
Also a group post I ran across made me feel better today:
"I have known for a very long time just what an elusive creature this is. One that is sought and hunted with hunger and desperation yet a more hidden and polymorphistic creature you shall not encounter. No one has been able to describe it with complete fulfilling accuracy and each description, while familiarities abound, still no two are alike - not even with the same individual telling the tale.
I could, therefore attempt with the impeccable gift of writing I was given at a young age to mold and swirl emotions and sensations and images and the overall realm of experience into some semblance of cohesive explanation. But I'm not going to.
I won't!
I am not going to sit here and waste a moment even of internal processing in an attempt to force into mortality something eternal that should never be caught in a glass jar and set upon a shelf for one to sit and gawk at. Oh no! I shall not cheapen my very first encounter with this creature by any attempt to compartmentalise it with the words our poor inadequate language have to offer.
I have seen now this creature. I have caught its scent and it now knows mine. I shall know it again across the winds...I shall know its call whispered in the shadows...I shall know its touch when next the hairs upon the back of my neck bristle and I shiver...and I surely shall know when its taste is upon my lips once more for now, now the true hunger begins."
